Instead Of Therapy

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Instead Of Therapy - book excerpt

HOLLYWOOD

In the make believe world where nothing is as it seems,

I have spent my life, my years of toll and dreams.

The city with its sign on high waiting for actors

And actresses to pass by.

I built a life way up in the sky

Where everything is perfect in my office in the sky.

A home away from home, where I compose

What they call prose for movies and television.

As fate would dictate

The money is great.

My treadmill life of duty

Persists in pursuit of fame and beauty.

Endless 18 hour days

Seem to fade into a haze

As I wonder through each project

Creating half crazed.

There is no time for pleasure or reruns

Only work and ratings are considered fun.

One day all of this will be over and

I will return home to roll in the clover.

But for now it is a most exciting high

And I cannot walk away and say goodbye.

SPRING

WARM WELCOME OF SPRING

It's the season for which everyone waits—poets and plumbers, little kids and lovers. Nature gives us an often surprising mix of sun, rain, winds, warmth, and chill. April is unlike any other month in that respect. It's the season of renewal, rebirth.

It's also a good time for rededication—think of those things we've been promising ourselves to do and then do them. Get out a pen and make a list of much-delayed tasks—letters to write, old folks and friends to visit, those nice things you've meant to do for others. They'll mean so much to someone, and you'll feel better for doing them. Spring is the season for growth of a very personal nature—so bring on the warmth.

SPRING INTERLUDE

This is the morning of the year,

With fresh, pink painted sunrise,

And dewdrops like a fairy's tear

To make each morn a lovely prize.

Lie down upon the pulsing ground

Beneath a lacy tree.

Look up and up until you've found

The sky....blue as can be.

Watch a bird on lazy wing

Soaring far above

Listen to the crickets sing

Of spring.... of joy.... of love.

SPRINGTIME IN THE MOUNTAINS

Springtime is a wonderful time to renew and rejuvenate our lives and our thinking. Just as all of nature’s creations began life in the springtime, it's time to begin life anew. To stretch and broaden and widen our horizons and our thinking. To burst forth with flowers of love to all those around us. To everyone and everything we touch.

Dear Lord, I pray that we may capture and hold on to that wonderful feeling of springtime in our hearts all year through, and there's absolutely no reason why we shouldn't. If we would only praise our Lord and stop a moment each day to give thanks to him. The next time you see a fresh cut flower, stop for just a moment and say a silent prayer to God, thanking him for allowing each of us to be formed in his image and yet allowing each of us the freedom to be individuals. Thank him also for the beauty and love that he surrounds us with each day.

A SPRING THOUGHT

One morning I awakened at dawn and realized that a door had closed in my life. I know that each of you has had a door close in your life at some time. I lingered by that closed door, then, as in previous losses, I walked alone.

The wet grass beneath my feet healed my body, the trees overhead fed my spirit, and I kept hearing or thought I heard, “Live it now; you cannot live tomorrow unless you live today, this moment.” Then I became aware of the great process of time; we hold nothing. All things go. I became a part of that great stream of time when the ancient life forms started. I could see those life forms as though in progression, vivid as a chart on a museum wall. Yet the ancient hieroglyphics speak only of today, and an unbelievable optimism overflowed me. The life force moves. It continues to grow and change. It re-creates from decaying hearts new grasses—perhaps in a different form, and there is an expanding consciousness to perceive the wonder of this movement of life. Suddenly, I knew my part in this. It was not to war with progress, not to spend my force grieving because the buffalo are gone and the whale may be leaving, not grasping for some utopian future, but from my thought and feeling, first in mind and heart and then in words to tell what it is, just what it is, this day.

So, this wonderful spring day, I saw a blossom in a tree; it bloomed high above the branches, bursting forth with brilliant color. I saw the arched head of a deer, the gentle grace of a doe in movement; I saw a cottontail, standing as a statue. For a while, I walked in the tracks of a raccoon. I sat on a moss-covered stump and wondered what myth am I living? Promptly the answer came, it is the miracle of God at work, and the words came rushing in my head clearly, "The Lord is my Shepherd. I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil; for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies; thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

I departed the woods and went to the beach. Through cracks in the pier, there includes from my eyes, I saw two swallows with golden-lined beaks closed in their carefully feathered nest. They slept the deep sleep of infant’s sleep; their elders sat on the dock rail, chatting together before starting the day of feeding their young. I heard the call of a heron and the splash of the dive of a gull. I listened to all the birds and the wonderful sounds of the ocean.

On this day, I walked in the good earth, the dirt, and the sand. I smelled the clean, fresh air of the mountains and the cool salt air of the sea. I saw a blossom high in a tree, and it healed me. I heard myself saying, "Let the past go, let the future be; it is enough to feel, and see, and be in this instant in time."

I understand that the door was not really closed; all the life and love I had known walked with me beneath the trees. Life flows in an endless stream and being a part of life, we flow with it. Spring has many faces, like a beautiful woman whose features fragment in the ripples of a stream; there are two faces of spring that I hold very dear although they are at opposite sides of nature’s spectrum.

Have you ever spent a springtime afternoon in San Francisco … that Bagdad by the bay? You will see lovely girls in bright spring dresses … handsome, tanned men, and the orange paint of that famous bridge silhouetted against the sky. And on the hills, the skyscrapers, towers, and cathedrals—awe-inspiring canyons of steel that give testimony to man's great creative genius.

All of this is just the window dressing for God's wonder that is spring. The winds of March drive frothy white caps across the bay, and in the bright blue sky, the soft white clouds skid and speed over the heavens to the final rendezvous with the golden sunset. Another face of spring can be seen in the hill country. You know spring comes in many ways to many places, but she must love the mountains the best because it is here the first buds appear on the trees while the winter snow still clings to the ground below. It is here that a riot of wildflowers first comes to bloom, and the roaring river seems to sing an anthem to the coming of spring … the rebirth of the land. This is the prelude to the lush dark green of summer, the age-old promise given at the beginning of time, God's spring, blossoms, soft breezes, and butterflies, the all-enveloping peace and serenity. This is springtime in the mountain.

Springtime is a wonderful time to renew and rejuvenate our lives and our thinking. Just as all of nature's creations began life in the springtime. It's time to begin life anew, to stretch and broaden and widen our horizons and our thinking. To burst forth with flowers of love to all those around us, to everyone and everything we touch.

VALENTINES

Webster's dictionary describes love as a strong affection or liking for someone or something.

Love of God—a spiritual love, to cherish someone very special and hope that we can attain a little of that consciousness.

Love of self—a seeking to uplift our lives.

Love for husband or wife. Man or woman.

Someone to share a lifetime with. Someone to share thoughts and ideas with—to share responsibilities and joys, to look forward to years of happiness, to enjoy sexual pleasures with. Someone to raise children with.

Love for children—cherish each one in a special way, recognizing each of their talents and gifts, encouraging them when they fail, and most of all hoping that they far surpass us in their lifetimes. Hoping that they achieve a successful marriage and happy family lives, that they have a rewarding career, that they are endowed with a great love and understanding and respect for all things Godly—religious.

Love for a friend—someone who supports us in times of tragedy and sadness. Someone who we can accept exactly as they are and admire them for being themselves. Someone who will always give an honest answer when we seek it.

Love for a pet —animal, bird, or whatever.

Something to care for, to watch their growth, help in their development—for a pet loves us, for just being us. They are dependent on us, but we don't mind because they give so much affection in return.

Love for humanity, love for a brother and sister. We grow up learning to love our brothers and sisters because they are family members. Although when we are young, we sometimes wonder if they are really necessary in our lives. We grew up loving them because they are a part of us. A blood relation.

But love for all humanity takes a bit of doing. To look at some of the people in the world today and say I truly love you like a brother is sometimes very difficult to do. Yet, if you look beyond the exterior, the dirty clothes, the uncouth qualities, the environment, you will see a truly beautiful person.

For even the worse criminal has some redeeming quality about him. If we but look for it. It may be that they love their mother or father, cherish a wife or child, or have a lasting friendship with someone special. There is something.

They are not all bad. For no one is truly all bad. Circumstances, life, environment, past lives, and karma all play a role in a person’s development, be it for good or bad. The important thing is, if our own viewpoint is centered on love for humanity, we will overlook the bad and see only the good.

Know that you know what love is; let's look at what love is not.

It is not unforgiveness, resentment, ill will, bearing a grudge, malice, retaliation, hostility, bitterness, hatred, or never forgetting something.