Make Or Break In Marrakesh

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Make Or Break In Marrakesh - book excerpt

Chapter 1

Justin Tondidori was thirty-nine years old. He was slightly overweight, his hairline wasreceding, and he was on a mission to be in a relationship before these issues grew worse. Before he hit middle age.

He was shallow enough to believe thatif you were to stand any chance of finding a girlfriend you had to meet certain expectations, so he played the role he thought women looked for in a man, rather than being himself.

He thought the phrase ‘just be yourself’ was a trap.

Most days he dressed the same way he had since he was fifteen, in that grungy style made popular in the nineties by Kurt Cobain. Worse than dressing like a child, he still daydreamed like a child. Justin dreamed of being loved.

It was all he wanted in the world.

He knew his parents loved him and probably his sister too. That wasn’t the love he yearned after. They were his family. They sort of had no choice.

He wanted the other kind of love. The unconditional, all-encompassing, take your breath away kind. Like in the movies.

Justin had seen Love Story, and he wanted that.

Many years had passed, and still he was hoping that one day it would happen. So far,he hadn’t evenliked anyone enough to experienced missing themwhen they weren’t around. Nor had he ever known how it felt to put someone else’s interests ahead of his own without an ulterior motive.

Being the childish romantic that he was, hethought this wasn’t fair, he feltleft out.As though he was lacking something, a key ingredient without whichhis adult life hadn’t properly started yet.

He hadnearly reached the tender age of forty,and still that elusive state of happiness eluded him. Some might say he was old enough to know better. That it was time to put childish dreams away.

Yet the idea of what true love should be. What itmust feel like, what he was missing out on, had always achedwithin him. If he gave up on that what was the point of anything?

Over the years,Justin had taken manylovers and watched plenty ofporn. He saw these things as part of a training regime, preparing him for the big event. Consequently, he’d learnt something about the physical expression of love.

Unfortunately,he’d failed completely to realise this wasn’t enough. That he also needed to get in touch with his feelings, his emotions.

This was a departmentin which he showed no maturity. Emotionally his growth was stunted. Hewas no better than a clueless schoolboy, aimlessly searching for love’s impossible dream.

After each fresh failure he’d lick his wounds and tell himself,‘She just wasn’t the one’or‘I tried, I really tried.’

Playing the victim nullified any need to examine if he might be,in some small way, partly to blame for the latest failed relationship.

Without the necessary soul searching, he could genuinelyconvince himself that he was trying his best. The way his brain performed somersaults to reach such conclusionswould have been adorable if the consequences weren’t so tragic.

A large part of Justin’s problem is that he thinks on the dating scale, he’s a seven-and-a-half at least, probably an eight.

Arguably there was a brief moment he was eightish. But that was years ago. He’s nearly forty now, his best days are far behind him. He’s a six-and-a-half at best.

Despite that, in his mind, he’s an eight, always was and always will be.

And since it’s reasonable for anyone to aim high, as an eight, he could realistically stretch for one place above. Somebody who’s a nine.

Trudyis undoubtedly a nine, if not a ten.

CHAPTER 2

Trudy Andrews was an absolute stunner. She had long, wavy, thick blond tresses that tumbled halfway down her back. She rarely wore much make up, yet her skin was radiant and flawless. Her figure would grace any catwalk, and her face belonged on the cover of Vogue.

She had a trusting personalitywhich unfortunately led to her marrying her childhood sweetheart. The relationship she fully expected to last until death parted them had not limped past four years.

Reality had bitten hard.The endless possibilities of youth faded fast when Trudy became a single mother. Nowadays her self-confidence was close to nonexistent

For years now she’d avoided men, devoted all her energies to her children. In those quiet moments, she told herself she led a fulfilled life. It was bullshit. Trudy was lonely. She was ready to get back in the game, she just needed a push.

One evening she was sitting in her local wine bar with her best friend Lucy Daniels.

The girls bore striking similarities in that both were gorgeous with kind hearts; it was in their private lives that differences abounded.

Lucy possessed an abundance of confidence. She had played the field, gone on many dates before settling down with an architect who loved, respected and provided for her. The marriage was solid.

Trudy glancedup as a good-looking stranger walked in.

Lucy smirked.

“What are you smirkin’ about?” Trudy demanded to know.

“I saw that.”

“Huh,” Trudy replied, feigning ignorance. “Saw what?”

Lucy smirked again. They had been friends since they were five years old; she knew Trudy inside out. There was no need for words.

Trudy sighed. She was fooling no one and certainly not the girl who knew her better than anyone.

“Who’d want me with two kids in tow?” she asked.

“You’re beautiful,” Lucy insisted. “You could have any man in this room.”

Trudy glanced again at the stranger.

“It would be nice to meet someone who’s not a complete asshole,” she admitted.

“Yeah,” Lucy agreed.“He’s definitely out there.”

“A man worthy of love?” Trudy elaborated.

“You deserve someone special.”

“You think such a creature exists?” Trudy asked doubtfully.

“Of course!” Lucy opined, optimism practically bursting from every pore. She believed it, why wouldn’t she? She was living it.

Trudy considered the prospect. It seemed unlikely to her.

“They don’t makemen like your Seamusanymore,” she decided.

“I disagree!” her friend said. “You just need to lower your expectations.”

They both giggled.

CHAPTER 3

The following weekend,fate threw Justin and Trudy together. It happened in Camden Town atafundraiser for Syrian refugees.

Trudy was there because shereligiously attended such events, cared deeply for those less fortunate than herself and wanted to make a difference.

Justin was there because it was close to his house and he was on the hunt fora new girlfriend.

He hadn’t been there long before his eye fell on her. It was inevitable they would. She was the best-looking girl in the room by far.

‘This is it,’ he told himself, mistakenly thinking that what he felt looking at her could only be described as love. He moved closer to this vision in a red dress.

“People are living on the pavements of Hackney,” he heard her say. “It’s disgusting what they have to endure in one of the wealthiest countries in the World.”

‘Look at that passion.’ Justin was spellbound. ‘The way her nostrils flare when she emphasises a point. The way she flicks that shiny ponytail.’

She was fascinating. She was stunning. He moved closer still. He got so close that Trudy broke off her monologue and turned to look at the interloper.

Their eyes met.

He grinned like a naughty schoolboy.

‘He’s full of confidence,’ Trudy thought.‘Maybe a bit too full.’

Justin ignored the people crowded around her.

“Hi, I’m Justin,” he said.

“Trudy,” she replied and allowed her hand to be shaken.

He bought her a drink and casually steered her away from the group she was with. He asked her about herself. He made an excellent job of pretending to be interested. And even though she didn’t reveal much of a personal nature, she pontificated in great detail on what should be done to solve the plight of the homeless.

‘I love her sexy voice,’ he decided.

Justin had very little to add to the conversation that wouldn’t show immediately he didn’t have a clue what he was talking about, yet he desperately wanted to impress her.So when the collection tin came round, he donated handsomely, hoping she’d notice.

“Gosh, a hundred quid! That’ll really help.” Trudy smiled at him.

His little scheme was working.

“Well, you know, I thinkit’s important we do what we can,” he lied.

He added a shrug and a half-smile that was supposed to conveya deep sympathy for his fellow human beings.

“You know what I mean?” He said it as though injustice to his fellow man, unfairness to those less fortunate, hurt him deeply.

“I do,” she agreed, nodding.

Justin was sure that nod really said, “Where have you been all my life?”

They had a few more drinks, and he listened attentively. When expected to speak, he settled for telling Trudy how interesting she was, how knowledgeable she was,and towards the evening’s end, how sexy she was.

Before she left,Trudy gave him her number.

CHAPTER 4

A few nights later she wasback with Lucy in the wine bar.

They discussed kids, work, and all that was wrong in the world.

“How was that fundraiser the other night?”Lucy asked innocently.

Trudy blushed.

“Oh my God!” All innocence wasinstantly wiped from Lucy’s demeanour. This was serious. “You met someone, didn’t you?”she accused. “What’s he like?” she demanded to know.

Trudy sucked her lip and wiggled her nose, clearly searching for the right words with which to answer the avalanche of questions.

“Is he cute?” her friend couldn’t wait.

Trudy raised an eyebrow as though considering. She smiled and blushed a little. “So-so,” she said.

“Did he try and bum any money off you?”

Trudy shook her head vehemently.

“No.” She clearly objected to the slur on his character.

“Oh my God, you like him!”

They sipped their Prosecco, studied each other, bothweighing up the situation.

Trudy not sure what she could say about him, what she even knew about him.

Whilst Lucy was wondering if she should offer her friend some condoms,

she leant forward.“I say shag him,”she advised.

Trudy giggled. She pretended to be excited, but Lucy knew nervous laughter when she heard it.

“Did you give him your number?”

She nodded.

“Has he called yet?”

Trudy sipped her drink before answering.

“I’m meeting him on Saturday” she confessed, and Lucy shrieked, causing a few of the other patrons to look across at them.

Lucy leant over the little glass table and kissed her friend on both cheeks.

“I’m so proud of you,”she declared. Beaming at her as though she were a child who’d just come first in the egg and spoon race.

“That doesn’t mean I’m gonna do anything.” Trudy tried to pour a little cold water on her friend’s enthusiasm.

Lucy snorted.“Not this again?”

“What do you mean?”

“At least give him a chance this time,” she advised darkly.

“What does that mean?” Trudy asked defensively.

Lucy sat back; she took a sip of wine.“You know what that means. It means, if you get the chance to do something nice, say yes!”Lucy lowered her voice, adding,“And if he wants to shag you, let him!”

Trudy snorted wine bubbles whilst failing to commit to anything.

CHAPTER 5

Saturday night came, and Justin had prepared well. He put on a new shirt andhis bestHugo Boss suit. He made reservationsat the ultra-trendy SkyView restaurant. He picked her up in a taxi, which went down extremely well. Trudy hated walking in heels.

As they rode through the streets of London Trudy studied him surreptitiously. She had to admit he scrubbed up nicely.

‘Maybe I will shag him,’she thought as they were dropped right by the door.

‘You can’t shag him just because he saved you from getting a blister on your heel,’ she realized, and uncertainty reclaimed its place in her decision-making process.

In the bar, they settled into plush window seats. Ambient music wafted over them, soft lighting added to the romance.

‘She’s gotta love this,’ Justin concluded.

‘It’s nice to get somewhere new,’ she thought.

The building tension was broken when the waiter came and took their order. Once he left, tension returned; Justin felt obliged to say something to break the spell.

“Have you been here before?” he asked.

Trudy shook her head.“Have you?”

“Once or twice,” he admitted.

“I’ve been up there, though,” she said and pointed through the window.

Across the river, the Shard soared into the night, high above all the other skyscrapers.

“Oh.” There was a pause.“Why?” he asked.

“My little girl wanted to go.”

“Oh,” he said as they watched red and blue laser lights dance across the Shard’s glass panels. London stretched out for milesbeneath it. The viewfrom their vantage point was undeniably romantic.

Trudy waited for him to say something.

‘She’s got a little girl,’ he thought.Justin stole a glance at her.

She looked incredible.

‘Who cares,’ he decided.

“You’ve got a little girl?”

“Yes, Megan, she’s four.”

“Oh, that’s nice, I love kids.”

He smiled to show he didn’t mean anything weird by it.

‘He won’t want to talk about children.’ Trudy stopped herself from extolling Megan’s virtues.

He could feel butterflies floating around his stomach. A beautiful girl, a Saturday night and the city lights, He wouldn’t have it any other way. This was what it was all about.

Add the anticipation, the build-up, the will we-won’t we, into the mix, and you had the perfect recipe.

‘The beginningis always the best bit about falling in love,’ Justin thought.

He saw a different side of her reflected in the window.In her white cotton shawl over an elegant light blue dress, she truly was stunning from any angle.

“You look amazing,” he told her.

She smiled at him,

“Thanks.”

Their drinks arrived.

Trudy sipped her wine as he took a long slug of lager.

‘At least he said amazing not nice,’ she thought.She wasn’t going to put out if he was boring.

‘Don’t be boring.’

Suddenly he swivelled around, and his eyes fixed on her. She was the centre of his attention. and it made her feel special.

“Do you believe in love at first sight?” he asked.

‘Nothing boring about that for an opening gambit.’Should she bepleased?

“I dunno,” she considered the question. “Yeah I suppose so,” she decided.

“Me too,” he shot back. They beamed at each other.

Trudy turned to the view.

‘That was a nice thing to say,’ she told herself.‘He’s nice.’

But there was a nagging voice at the back of her mind.

‘What? Are you mad? What sort of a question is that to someone you barely know?’

For the briefest of moments, Trudy wondered if this was a huge mistake. But the view was nice, the wine was chilled, the babysitter had been paid.

Lucy’s words sounded in her head: ‘Give him a chance this time.’

She vowed to waitand see how things played out, for Lucy’s sake if nothing else.

A couple of hours later, Trudywas glad she’d persevered. After a few drinks, once he’d controlled his nerves, he turned out to be fun, attentive.Hehad stories that involved him getting into minor scrapes that, rather than leaving him bitter, had provided some amusing anecdotes. She had to admit he was good company; she wasn’t to know the anecdotes were stolen from other people, normal people with interesting lives.

Justin knew how to seduce a girl, and Trudy was ripe for seduction.

He topped up her glass, he feigned interest in her stories, and he was on his best behaviour. It was the best date Trudy had been on for a long, long time.

They shared a taxi, which took Trudy home first.

“Do you want to come in?” she asked as it pulled into her street.

“Well, if you’re sure. That would be great.”

Trudy was planning to take him into the front room and relax on the sofa, but theroom was a mess. She couldn’t take him in there. She had asked her son to tidy up when his little sister went to bed.Possibly he’d been distracted; certainly, he’d forgotten to do so.

So they stayed in the kitchen, perched on stools on opposite sides of the breakfast bar,and the romantic factor dropped as the coffee levels in their mugs did the same.

With every creak of the house, Trudy thought her daughter would wake up.She couldn’t relax.

Justin drained his drink as he realised the moment had passed.

“I best be off then,” he announced, sliding back his stool and rising to his feet.

Trudy smiled.

“Thanks for a lovely evening. I really enjoyed it.”

“Me too.” He paused, wondering if she was going to come to him.

She stayed in her seat, so he zipped up his jacket.

“I’ll call you,” he said and headed down the passageway.

He heard the sound of a stool scraping across tiles, and he slowed down.

Trudy caught up with him.

“So I’ll call you,” he repeated.

“Ok,” she said and leant across him to open the door.

Justin reached out and slid his hand behind the small of her back. He gently pushed, and she allowed herself to fall into a kiss.

But she knew the glass door meant they would be silhouetted for anyone who happened to be passing.However unlikely that may be late at night, she didn’t feel comfortable, so she broke away and fumbled for the lock.

“Night,” she said, casting her eyes bashfully downwards.

He pecked her on the cheek as he squeezed past her.

“Night, angel,” he said, and he left.

Trudy closed the door and smiled all the way to the bathroom.

Justin did a little hoppity skip as he turned the cornerand began searching for a black cab.

‘That was great. She’s an absolutediamond.’ In his mind the evening had gone extremely well.

‘I’m in love,’he hastily decided.

The following Saturday he booked dinner and a show at Volupte, the hottest cabaret in town. Trudy wore a chiffon pearl-coloured dress that clung tightly to her curves, they laughed out loud at the compere, were thrilled by the dance acts, drank too much cheap wine, and couldn’t keep their hands off each other in the taxi.

There was no time for coffee. A few minutes after getting in the front door, they were rolling round on the sofa interfering with each other’s clothing. Very quickly,Justin was topless, and Trudy was down to her lacy underwear. The breathing was becoming faster, more frantic.

Then Megan awoke and started crying.

She stopped, so he stopped.

“You better go,” she said, pulling her dress on over her head.

The way she wiggled into it drove him crazy.

‘What?’ he wanted to scream.‘Stop now?’

But how could he? Megan’s crying was growing in volume, clearly a signal thatthe party was over.

It was time to leave, and there was nothing that could be done about it.

“You can let yourself out, can’t you?” She was already halfway up the stairs.

“Sure.”

He did no little dances on the way home that night. If anything, he felt a bit frustrated.

‘You’ll be ok,’ he consoled himself.

Theweekend after that,Trudy arranged for her mother to have the children for the whole night.

She wasn’t totally convinced there was a future with Justin; she didn’t really know him well enough. But she liked him enough to get laid, she knew that much. Besides, it had been a while,she was horny, and Christmas was just around the corner. She didn’t want to be alone again this year.

If Trudy ignored the nagging doubt in the back of her mind, it was fairly easy for her to pretend that things were looking up.