Silence And Shadows - Dodie Bishop

A Romantic Historical Mystery Book Series

Silence And Shadows by Dodie Bishop

Series Excerpt

I have found I cannot write every day for often there is nothing to say, or at least nothing I can bring myself to record. Not forward steps. Perhaps even some backwards ones? And I despise myself for it. But today has not been one of those. Today I have been truly happy for the first time in many months.

Sam has returned, thank Jesu, and straightaway came to visit me. I was standing beside the studio window checking my colours when I saw him leave his house to cross the street. My heart soared at the sight of him. He looked wonderful in a lapis blue coat cut in the longer French style, his glossy chestnut hair tied at his neck. He was a candleflame in my darkness. I left my miniature on the sill and clattered down the three flights of stairs to let him in. Then I was in his arms.

He held me away for a moment to plant a kiss upon my forehead. ‘Sukie, forgive me. I’ve abandoned you for far too long.’ He took my arm and led me upstairs and into the first-floor drawing room, where the fire burned fiercely in the marble-porticoed fireplace. All the décor was Catherine’s; nothing of my mother remained. Gilded chairs and couches. Pale floral upholstery. Matching gold-framed wall panelling. Needless to say, I hate it.

When the door was firmly closed behind us, the relief of it left me quite faint. ‘Jesu, Sam. I’ve missed you more than I can say.’ Even though I must keep my voice low, it felt blissful. ‘I think it sent me a little mad, speaking to no one.’ Little? Understated, perhaps? I clutched his hand. ‘But it drove me outside the house at last.’

He pulled me back into his arms. ‘Well, I’m very pleased to hear it. And, how brave of you. I can imagine how difficult it must have been.’

I nodded, sighing. ‘Having no life became too high a price, so I had to.’

‘Sukie, I never expected to be away this long. It all turned out to be so much more complicated than we thought.’

‘I know it wasn’t by choice. Nor is it your fault I’m so disgracefully dependent on you.’ I looked up at him and forced a smile. ‘I hope it was all resolved in the end?’

He nodded. ‘I think the King is content.’

I knew he could tell me little of it. These visits of his to the royal courts of Europe. Painting portrait miniatures proved an excellent cover for the secret discussions with courtiers and diplomats the King required of him. ‘Now I must break my silence, or I fear it will break me.’

He stroked my back. ‘I’m here now, so tell me how I can help?’

‘I shall try to speak to Papa. And the first words I must say are, “forgive me.”’

He grasped my shoulders. ‘You were ill after your mama’s death. Your voice deserted you. It wasn’t your fault.’

‘Sam, I spoke at my grandmother’s and chose to stop again when I returned here. Because I was angry.’ Grandmama and I had needed each other’s comfort, even though it meant abandoning Papa and fleeing with Penny to Hampshire. Had this on top of his grief contributed to Catherine snaring him? It must be so, surely?

‘Christ, you came home to the Villiers.’ He shook his head. ‘You wanted to punish your papa for it – I would have felt the same – so you refused to acknowledge them. I understand all of it.’ He held my face. ‘And I’ll do everything I can to help you have a life again.’

‘I know you will.’ I took a deep breath. ‘Now, come up and see my new work. I’d like your opinion of it.’

‘With pleasure.’

In the studio, he was soon standing before my table holding his chin whilst he scrutinised my miniature for the King.

Finally, he spoke. ‘You really are a sorceress, Susannah. The luminosity. How you do this is beyond me. I saw Castlemaine at court this morning when I brought letters to the King.’ He shook his head. ‘The rest of us try to give the sitter what they hope for … hinting at greater beauty. Fewer years. Yet somehow, it’s always clear it’s been done. You do it and it’s not. How in God’s name do you know just the right amount to leave unchanged for them to not see what has been?’

I chewed my lip as I wrote, for we were no longer alone, of course, ‘I despise that place. I hated being back there–’

He pulled me tight into his arms. ‘Sukie, my sweet love.’

Penny ran in then, excited to see him as always and especially so after he had been away for so long. We broke apart and he swung her up into his arms, showering her with kisses. ‘How big you’ve grown my poppet and how exceedingly pretty you are.’ He turned to me. ‘She gets more and more like you. No one could ever doubt you’re sisters.’

I closed my eyes for a moment and smiled. ‘Indeed, they could not.’ I wrote. Yet I saw the blue eyes that were not mine and a sweet soul much kinder than my own.

I led him back down to the drawing room and when Penny ran off to fetch her new dolly to show him, I was able to whisper to him again before she returned. How I hate my silence with her. It shames me. ‘The King saw through my trick.’

‘Maybe, for once, your father boasted of your skill to him? Perhaps, to win his patronage for you again?’

‘He wouldn’t. He guards it closely. It’s why my work is so in demand. Sitters must believe I make a true likeness.’ We sat together on the couch beside the window looking down on a bustling Henrietta Street. Carriages jostled. Overladen farmers’ carts headed for the arcades of Covent Garden. Crowds hurried about their business. Ragged boys wove between them at their peril to cross the gloomy street. Cartmen jeered at coachmen and both bellowed at pedestrians, picking their way through the horse dung.

Sam moved to the fire, adding more coals, and poking it vigorously. ‘Will he see it when you do his portrait, or will he choose not to?’

When he was seated beside me again, I whispered, ‘He’ll see it but say I haven’t worked my skills upon his person, knowing I won’t be able to contradict him for he is the King.’ I quickly moved away from his ear when the door burst open, frowning to see not Penny but James Villiers.

His frown quickly mirrored mine. ‘Carter. I heard you’d returned.’ He moved to the fire, holding his hands to it. ‘I note it didn’t take long for you to present yourself here.’

His speech seemed more affected than usual. For Sam’s benefit, no doubt. I felt my lip curl at it.

Sam shrugged. ‘I greatly missed my dear friends and hurried to see them.’

Now seated opposite, James watched us, sullenly. ‘Did you find your miniatures more in favour at the French court?’ He paused for a moment before answering the question himself. ‘But you wouldn’t be back in Henrietta Street had that been so. Perhaps you’ve come for lessons from Susannah?’

Sam laughed without any discernible edge of rancour. How he does so is a wonder to me when the man is such an odious dolt. ‘No one is as good as Susannah, nor quite as expensive.’

I wrote and held up: ‘True.’ Neither Papa nor Sam have need to work for money, so have chosen not to. I, however, take payment from all bar the King. Does he ever pay anyone for anything?

Once again, the door flew open and this time Penny rushed in clutching her doll, the smile instantly leaving her face at the sight of James. Not, indeed, an unusual response to encountering him in this house.

She came to Sam to sit on his lap, holding out her doll to him. ‘I’ve dressed her in her best gown for you to see.’

‘Well, isn’t she a truly wonderous creature?’

James grinned at the unease his presence caused her. ‘Perhaps Carter can make a living painting faces on little girls’ dollies? Then he might spend less time at our table.’

What an insufferable wretch he is. I wrote quickly and held up, ‘At Papa’s table. Where he was welcome long before you. And he has no more need to earn a living than you do.’ Sam’s father is an admiral in the Royal Navy, his disappointment at his son’s failure to follow him into the service was only exceeded by his dismay that a bequest from his mother meant no other profession necessary, either. Yet he has a secret one, intelligencing for the King.

James made a show of looking away in order not to see my words.

Sam ignored him. ‘Susannah, perhaps you’ll join me for dinner tonight? Pascal is pleased to have someone to cook for again at last. It’ll give us a chance to catch up.’

I smiled, nodding.

James laughed. ‘Well, won’t this be a lively evening. I hope you enjoy the sound of your own voice, Carter, and the delightful scratch of a graphite stick on paper.’

Sam smiled at me, with no acknowledgement that James had even spoken. ‘I’ve missed you very much. It will be wonderful to have your company again. To have you all to myself.’

‘I feel the same.’ I wrote.

At a light knock upon the door, James called out, ‘Come.’

Bess entered carrying a heavy tray. Sam set Penny onto the floor and rose to help her, placing it down on the end table. She curtseyed to me but not to James, which visibly irked him.

‘You make a good footman, Carter. Ever thought of taking it up?’

Sam laughed affably, which further irked him. ‘Why have you brought our refreshments, Bess? Isn’t it Robert’s job?’

I was glad Sam laughed at James’s taunt and also that he asked the question I was poised to write.

‘Master James said to, Sir.’ She began to pour the wine with a shaking hand.

James rose and moved to her, placing his hand on her shoulder, making her flinch and spill wine over the table. He scowled. ‘Clumsy cun–’ He glanced at Penny. ‘Chit. I’ve a good mind to thrash you again.’

‘No,’ Penny shrieked.

Once more, the word I was about to write. Instead, I wrote, ‘Again?’

‘Run along now, Bess. I’ll pour for us. You, too, Penny. Bess will find a cordial for you in the kitchens,’ Sam said.

I walked to the door, closing it behind them before moving to Sam’s side.

He turned to James. ‘You’ve beaten her? What right have you to lay hands on her?’

‘What right have you to question my actions? You, Sir, are not a member of this household.’

I pointed at my mouth and then at Sam to tell James he spoke for me. Jesu, I wanted to scream oaths at him. Yet I was powerless, trapped in my damnable silence.

‘Bess is Susannah’s maid. She doesn’t serve the family. And in this house servants are not beaten.’

I nodded, vigorously. I am mute. Truly, I must find a way to end this.

‘All servants are thrashed. It keeps ‘em willing. This is Mama’s household, and such decisions are hers. She’ll decide if the chit needs a further dose.’

‘My father’s house.’ I scribbled and thrust it in his face. He smirked at me and walked away.

Looking out from the window, he smiled. ‘Ah, I see her coach approaching. I shall welcome her home. I’m sure she’ll happily give you her decision on the matter.’

Then he strode across the room, and we soon heard his footfalls on the stairs going down.

‘He won’t hurt Bess again, will he?’

Sam moved to the door. ‘I’ll make sure he doesn’t.’

I climbed the stairs back up to the studio as Sam made his way down.

Books In This Series

The Other Side Of Silence (Silence And Shadows Book 1)

Our Little Life (Silence And Shadows Book 2)